yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
