Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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