You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
