There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
