I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Enjoy the penises
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
did i just pee glitter
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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