Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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