I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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