K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
