Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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