You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
