capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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