Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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