I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
