You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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