If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
