The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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