Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
