i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
