He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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