we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
