PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
