i permit you to call me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
