I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize