we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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