that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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