is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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