my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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