thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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