i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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