HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think my vagina is haunted
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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