Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
