I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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