I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
