FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize