So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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