ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
