just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
