walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
