I must be too annoying 4 u.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
