Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
