i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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