is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
