two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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