I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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