Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
