I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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