One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
