i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
