I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
