Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
