Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
