Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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