just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
