its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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