Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
