You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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