TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She bit a glass in half.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
